Faith Means Letting Go (For Moms of Kindergartners)

Today is not a blog about crafts, recipes, projects, or whatever else I normally put on my blog.

Today is a day where I pour out my feelings to you all.

So why pour out my feelings...because I'm not sure what else to do besides keep myself busy.

It's official...all my children are in school.

This had to be one of the hardest days of my life. Holding my little guy's hand as I walked him into the school building. I cried as we waited in the gym for school to start. I was shaking not wanting to let go of his hand. Everyone around me was calm and starring at me. I felt alone, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep the tears from falling. I still can't.

I brought Zane to his classroom and helped him with breakfast. Parents were starting to leave and there I was still holding onto my little man. I knew it was going to be hard, because every time I thought about it this week, tears came to my eyes. With my girls it was a happy moment walking them to their classroom and smiling as I walked away, but I guess knowing there ain't going to be any little ones running around my house, keeping me company, is hard. It's real hard. It's lonely. 

Not only is Zane my last child he's also a Mommy's boy.

I have never been away from him, other than times I didn't have a choice. Like hospital visits. But that's a whole other chapter in my life that is finally starting to close. Another story for another time maybe? I am very blessed to be a stay at home Mom and spend every day with my children. I guess that's the hard part about spending every moment with your child, they eventually have to leave. It goes by faster than I ever could have imagined.

From the moment Zane Wesley Secret was born I couldn't put him down.

Was it because little boys steal their Mommy's hearts? If you haven't heard that before, I can say this is true.

Was it because I knew he would be my last little one? Not by choice, but for my health.

Was it because I watched my Mom holding her first and only Grandson in the hospital room knowing she was dying of cancer?

I suppose all of these played a big role into my special bond with my son. A bond that won't be broken even if it means I have to let go as I walk away from his Kindergarten classroom.

Yesterday he was born (so it seems) and today he is a big boy in Kindergarten. I'm not sure how time got away from me. Every morning my little guy would sit on me for hours and snuggle with me. He never was eager to watch T.V., or play with his toys, or do whatever boys do every morning. HE We looked forward to waking up each morning and sitting on the couch spending hours together. He gave me at least 100 kisses in the morning, and right now it seems like I've been cheated with my kisses this morning.

For the last couple of years I have been trying to get him to sleep in his own bed, and going on 6 years old you would think he would be sleeping in his own bed. But in the middle of the night he would always make his way into our bed, taking it over. Last night he went to bed in his own bed and woke up in his own bed. How I missed waking up to him this morning. How he managed to sleep in his bed all night, I'm not sure, but if there was a night I wanted him sleeping in my bed, it would have been last night. I guess maybe it was God's way of telling me that my little boy is no longer a little boy, but a big boy.

Here I am waiting for school to be out so I can finally hold my little man in my arms again, but for once time seems to be going so slow. Time always seems to fly, but for once it's on hold.

I wish someone would have told me that my heart would break as I slowly let go of my son's hand. I guess we are never really prepared for what our future holds or how we will feel. As I write this I can only think about how selfish I am because some Mommy's are letting go of their son's or daughter's hand as their child is making their way to heaven and I'm only letting go of Zane's hand for a short time.

My heart aches but I smile because he smiles. Zane was excited and couldn't wait to get to school. I am happy and I did cry tears of joy and I know I will be excited to hear all his stories when he comes home from school. As I write this I say I'm alone but really I'm not. God is always there to hear me, I just have to learn to reach out more to God. Now that I have more time I know that more time will be spent on having a better relationship with God.

The first step I need to take is letting go and trust that God knows what he is doing as Zane and even my girls get older. I can't always protect them, but I can always pray for them. As I write this I'm wondering why letting go was so hard. Is it because I no longer have control? The truth is, I never had control, God did. God knows what he is doing with our children's lives. I just have to learn to have Faith. The real protection is our Faith in God.

God walks with our children each day even as I had no choice but to walk away. God never turns his back on our children or us. We may never understand what God is doing in our lives but through good times and the bad times we must know that God knows better than us. He has a plan for our children as much as we want to control the lives of our children, but we must understand that letting go is the first step. We tried to do as God asked us to do as Mothers, but now it's time to let God do what God does best....HIS JOB.

I know with God's guiding hand and my Faith my children will walk away with their own Faith. So now it's time to have complete Faith that as my children grow their Faith will grow. I'm not really walking away or letting go, I'm just letting God take control......

Thanks for letting me pour out my feelings today. It was a hard week for me. Not only did I have to let go of Zane's hand as he started Kindergarten I had to let go of Jaden's hand as she started High School. Having Cameron going into 4th grade was a breeze!

Letting go is not always easy but we truly never let go we just leave it in God's hands for we can't always walk hand in hand with our children but God can. God is Our Father, Our

Protector, and we know this because God let go of his own Son for us. But just as we never really let go God never really let go of Jesus because he lives. Jesus lives through us and by believing this we know that letting go really means leave it in God's hands. As much as I hurt this morning, I know that by believing in The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit my time will come where there is no hurt, because I found the Faith to let go.

"But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me."  John 16:32

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.  Psalms 34:4

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.  2 Peter 3:18

The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.  Proverbs 16:33

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1

Leave your orphans; I will protect their lives.  Jeremiah 49:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.  Proverbs 16:9

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.  Proverbs 22:6

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."  Matthew 19:14

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Gelations 2:20

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.  Romans 8:18

Amen

I'll leave you with some happy moments!

DIY Wedding Gift With Burlap Monogram

I'm here to share with you a little wedding gift I made for a very sweet couple!

My little brother's friend sent me a wedding shower invite (well his then soon~to~be wife did) and I wasn't sure what I wanted to give. Since I don't live there I thought about just sending some money but that of course would have been boring! So for that moment I put my gift on hold until I could come up with the perfect gift. He was my favorite out of all of my brother's friends (I just love his whole family), so I wanted it to be something special. 

Time was starting to run out because I was making a trip that way and wanted to make sure I had the gift on hand to give to the newlyweds. It then popped up in my head to use the initial of their last name, their first names, and their wedding date and frame it for them. I of course wanted to use burlap, where I come from it's cowboy/cowgirl country and everyone loves burlap around here! I used the same concept  as my DIY Burlap Prints, framed it, and added some burlap flowers for decoration. I really hope that the newlyweds (Colby and Paige) will love their gift!



So what do you think...is it a wedding gift worth giving? I'd really like to have your opinion! For one I'm hoping that the couple will like it, so if I get some thumbs up it gives my gift a chance and two I'd really like to make more!

I hope to update this when I get back from my little trip with pictures of the newlyweds with their gift and hopefully a thumbs up from them!

Until next time.....


UPDATE:
I got a picture of the Happy Couple and their new gift :)
By their smiles I'm going to assume they really like it or they are really good actors!

DIY Tulle Hair Bows

School will be here next Monday. I can't believe how fast the summer went by. With school fast approaching I had to get started on hair bows for my daughter Cameron. Every year I make her bows and this year was no different. I shop for her clothes and then shop for ribbon that matches her clothes. So it's a tutorial about hair bows! How fun!

So last year I was trying to do something different with hair bows and picked up some tulle. I am so glad that I did because it is my favorite way to make hair bows now and I think they are the cutest. So I am here to share with you my TULLE BOWS!

For this tulle bow I am going to use 1 1/2 inch ribbon.

First I cut 5 pieces of ribbon. Each about 3 1/2 inches.

I then use a lighter and lightly burn the ends to keep the ribbon from fraying.

I fold it in half.

This part is optional because we will be doing some sewing but I like to add a dot of hot glue to keep it stuck together.

Now it holds together for the sewing part so you don't have to keep it aligned.

Now you should have five pieces.

Now you will need a needle and tread.

On one side of the ribbon, put the needle through it from the bottom side.

   Next push the needle through beside it.

Don't tie it off but bring it to the middle.

 Now that you are in the middle bring it up...

  Then back down.

Again don't tie it off but bring it to the other end.

 Bring it up....

 Then back down.

Again do not tie it off.

  It should look something like this.

 Gently pull the sides together, but not too tight.

 Using the same needle and tread go ahead and do the same to all ribbon pieces.

It should look something like this.

 You will find that they have twisted, so carefully put them in their place.

 Now you want to connect the last piece with the first piece.

So go ahead a put the needle through the bottom of the first piece and then back down.

Now they should be in a circle.

  Before you tie off your thread go around and push the sides together until they are tighter together.

Compare this picture to the one above.

Don't pull the tread to tight or it will break.

Don't worry about the gap in the middle, we will be fixing that and needing the middle.

Now tie off your tread.

Now your bow should be coming together.

If you compare this pic to the one above you will see that I went around and straighten out the ribbon.

  Now you will need to make a circle onto some felt.

I use my pill bottle lol, it's about an inch but anything will work to make a circle. You could even do it yourself if you wanted.

I traced the circle as you can see.

 Now you will need to cut the circle out.

 Now hot glue one side of the felt.

 Put the felt on the back of your ribbon and push the ribbon and felt together.

Your hair bow should be coming together.

 Now grab your tulle.

Tulle now comes in glitter, designs and all types of color.

 I very very lightly go over the end with a lighter, but you can leave out this step if you want.

 Just to get an idea you will fold it, like you did with the ribbon.

 Can you see how it is folded?

 You will repeat that, and go all the way around kind of like a flower.

I used this as an example, but that is the concept you will be using around the middle of your bow.

 Remember that hole and felt in the middle?

Put a dot of hot glue in the middle and using the end of your tulle stick it to the middle.

I like to use a scrap piece of ribbon the smash it down.

Using the concept above make a flower all the way around your ribbon, gluing each time you come back to the middle.

 I never cut my tulle until I get to the end because I never know how much I will be using.

Go ahead and cut your tulle and here is your hair bow.

I like to go around the edges of the tulle and spread it apart as you can see below.

 I like to add something to the middle, in this case I used a gem.

 Now go ahead and get your hair barrette.

I prefer these ones because they stay in my daughters hair without falling out.

 You will also need a small piece of felt.

 Go ahead and hot glue your barrette.

 Put it on the back of your hair bow onto the felt.

 Now get that other piece of felt and stick it through like this.

 Go ahead and hot glue the felt to the felt.

This is what the back should look like.

Here's a picture of how it looks in your hair.

Now you have a pretty bow for your daughter, for you, or as a gift!

I hope you all enjoyed this hair bow because in the next couple of days I will be giving away 5 different hair bows to one lucky winner. So keep a lookout for the bow give away!

Link Parties: Adventures of a DIY Mom, {Ella Claire}, Two Yellow Birds Décor, Sew Much Crafting, Blissful and Domestic,

The Charm of Home, Wait Til Your Father Gets Home, A Peek Into My Paradise, Life on Lakeshore Drive, Keeping it Simple, Sew Many Ways